Return of the Jadows: Celluloid Apocalypse

[DjangoSP]

I've recently discovered that I'm a Viewtiful Joe fan, so I have, yep! You guessed it! A Viewtiful Joe fic!!!!!! But enough yammering. I bring to you...

Return of the Jadows: Celluloid Apocalypse
Action, Adventure. Mild language. PG-PG13.

Chapter One: The Magnificent Five Returns!!!

Joe

It was exactly one year after the Jadows tried to escape MovieLand, and peace was returning to the real world. Sylvia had joined her dad (a.k.a “Captain Blue”) in the moviemaking biz. Me? Eh, I’m doin’ alright. But there are times when I missed knocking around Jadow members. At least I had something to do then.

I was walking down the street to visit Sylvia and Blue’s studio, when I heard a huge crash of thunder above me. I looked up, and gasped.

Dark black clouds were twisting around, and a large, dark hole was forming, lightning crashing around it. “Hey!” I yelled. “What’s going on?!” “HAHAHAHAHA!!!” A voice rang out. “Well, well, well. If it isn’t Viewtiful Joe! Or in this current case, “Average Joe”, heh, heh, heh…”

I narrowed my eyes, and held up my right arm, which had the V-Watch attached to it. “Yeah!? Well not for long!!! Henshi—” A bolt of lightning flew out of the sky and zapped my V-Watch. It crackled with electricity and broke apart. “It can’t be…” I said shakily.

Out of the sky jumped five large figures. I recognized them immediately. Charles the 3rd, Hulk Davidson, Gran Bruce, Fire Leo, and another figure, hovering just above the ground that should not even exist.

“Alastor?!” I yelled in surprise. The former Blade Master chuckled evilly. “That’s right. We’ve finally managed to escape that prison that you called a movie and come into the real world. Surprise, surprise.” I grasped my head in confusion. “But, but…this isn’t possible!! I thought you needed Silvia in order to escape!!”

Fire Leo let out a loud roar that sounded a little bit like a laugh. “Correction, Joe. We needed Silvia’s DNA to break through, not the girl herself. We managed to drain her blood when we first captured her. After that, we just injected into ourselves…and here we are. RAAAAAWAR!!! With the DNA of the Creator flowing through our veins, we can come and go from MovieLand as we please.”

Hulk Davidson slammed his axe into the ground, making it rumble violently. “You know what time it is? YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?! IT’S TIME FOR US TO GET SOME REVENGE FOR THE WAY YOU PUMMLED US BACK IN MOVIELAND!! AND THIS TIME, YOU AIN’T GOT THAT PUNY LITTLE V-WATCH TO BAIL YOU OUT!!!!”

Gran Bruce let out a loud gurgling sound. “Right you are, Hulky! Red Boy over here’s about to face an untimely…uh..um…y’know…END! At the hands of me, Gran…er…Bruce!! …I…think…”

Charles the 3rd snorted evilly. “Now you’ll pay for interrupting my beauty sleep that night!! I’m supposed to get 16 hours of sleep every day to make myself look beautiful!!”

I sighed, annoyed. “You might wanna shoot for 17.” Charles shot out a blood-red, moon-shaped boomerang that caught me across the stomach and knocked me down. I looked and my stomach and saw a large gash opening up on it.

“OW!!” I yelled. “Your attacks were never that strong!!” Fire Leo let out that roar/laugh again. “Well, of course, Joe. We’re in the real world now. The HUMAN world. Our powers are increased tenfold in this non-celluloid environment. And soon, we shall combine our powers together to bring about…the Celluloid Apocalypse. But enough chatter. Time to die, Viewtiful!!!! Fire Claw!!!!”

Fire Leo held up his claw, and it flared up instantly. He rushed towards me, claw raised.

A jet of water flew straight into Leo, and he slipped and crashed to the ground. Leo looked up at Gran Bruce, growling angrily. “What was that for you FOOL!?” Gran Bruce gurgled again. “Oy!! If anyone should destroy Joe, it’s gonna be…be…er..ah..ME!!!”

Alastor gave Bruce a very ticked off look. “Hey, hey, hey, hold it!! Joe’s, my arch rival, so I’LL be the one to waste him.” Charles snorted hungrily. “I beg pardon!? I shall be the one to feast on Joe!!”

Hulk stomped the ground in exasperation. “Wait up, fools!! Yo, I’m the one fixing to have his head as a hood ornament! Joe’s mine!!!” “MINE!!” Bruce yelled. “Oh, please.” Fire Leo groaned. “You can barely finish your sentences half the time. He’s MINE!!!!!!!!! ROOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

The five villains jumped on each other and started fighting furiously. Suddenly, I saw a flash of red light off to my right. I recognized it immediately. “Six Machine!!!” It stopped right next to me, and the bad guys continued fighting. I jumped into Six Machine and flew off. “Okay…now what do I do? My V-Watch is fried, the baddies are in the real world, and something about a Celluloid Apocalypse?” I gasped. “Wait a minute!! If my watch is toast, then how did Six Machine get here?!”

“Since we have been through many adventures together,” Six Machine said in that robotic voice of his. “Nothing, not even the extermination of the V-Watch can separate us as a team.”

I sighed. “Well, that’s a relief. Now, what do we do about the bad guys…”

Narrator

“Joe flies off with Six Machine with many questions racing through his head. How was Alastor revived? What is the Celluloid Apocalypse? Who is controlling the Jadows this time? And how will Joe hope to combat this newly arisen evil without the use of his heroic powers?”

Joe burst through the studio door with a large metal bat in his left hand. “I’ve HAD it up to HERE with your stupid, condescending narratives!! I don’t need superpowers to beat the punch lines outta you!!”

I held up my hands as Joe rushed towards me. “What!! I can quit! What are you gonna do with that bat?”

BANG!!

“Ow!!! Stop! Wait! That’s not supposed to twist that way…AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

To be continued…

[DjangoSP]

Chapter 2: A New Hero!!

Fire Leo

Since those four idiots let Joe escape *AGAIN*, I had to help find him. I had conjured up a large, flaming comet that we could ride, to locate Joe from the sky.

I sighed exasperatedly. “Well, this is great, guys. Thanks to your stupidity, Joe’s escaped. If he finds a way to defeat us this time…”

Hulk stopped polishing his axe and glared in my direction. “First off, how the heck can you blame us for what happened? You slipped on Bruce’s water! How dumb can ya’ll be to slip on that!? That’s almost bad as a banana peel!!!”

I growled angrily. “You better shut up, Davidson, unless you wanna be Flamingson!!!!”

Hulk jumped up, brandishing his axe. “What’d you say, fire-head?!” I clenched my fist as the fires on my head intensified. “How ‘bout I toast you with ‘em?” Alastor stepped in between us. “All, right, all right, guys, relax. If we kill each other before we kill Joe, then we can’t start the Apocalypse.”

I growled again, but then cooled down. Alastor was right. “…So what do we do? Joe could be anywhere!” Charles snorted evilly. “Relax, dear Fire Leo!! Joe’s lost the powers of his V-Watch, and we are on the wining side once more!!”

“You’d think so, huh?” A voice said to our right. We whirled around to see a shadow figure, with sharp, gleaming white teeth, laughing menacingly, and flying alongside us. I held up my claw and fired it up. “Who are you!?”

The figure chuckled again. “Just call me…a friend.” Hulk raised his axe. “Yeah? Well you about to be a dead friend!!”

Hulk raised his axe and swung at the figure. “GOTCHA!!!” “Tsk, tsk, tsk…Always the hot-tempered one, eh, Hulk? Pity…I thought that was Leo.” We turned around and saw the figure again, flashing those sharp teeth. I felt a small shiver go up my spine.

“How do you know who we are? Tell us who you are! Who do you work for!?!” The figure chuckled again. “In due time, Leo. Until then…ta-ta!!” He disappeared in a flash of blinding white light.

Bruce gurgled curiously. “Now who…was that?”

~~Meanwhile, at Blue and Silvia’s studio…~~

Blue

“Okay, I’ll just make another stitch here…” “AHHHHHHHHH, GOD!!!!” Joe yelled in agony. “Stop being a baby.” I said for the umpteenth time. “You wanna trade places?” Joe whimpered. Silvia in the corner sighed. “And this was the hero who took down the Jadows? Hard to believe…”

Joe had arrived in Six Machine and explained the situation to us. We…I…was patching up the wound Joe had gotten from Charles the 3rd.

“Ah! Got it! Okay, Joe, you can get up now.” Joe got up unsteadily, examining his stitches. “Wow! Great job, Blue! I didn’t know you were a doctor!” I raised an eyebrow quizzically. “I’m not.” Joe turned pale green at those words. I burst out laughing and put my hand on his shoulder. “I’m only kidding, Joe. Relax, you won’t die. Heh, heh. <I hope…>

Silvia got up and walked over to Joe. “You guys are such little kids. Can we please find a way to stop these guys?”

I sighed then snapped my fingers. A large script appeared in front of us. I grabbed it and opened it up. “Now…let’s see…Page 49, Subsection X, Paragraph 6, line 12…Ah! Here it is!! ‘In the event of the destruction of a hero’s V-Watch, a new hero must be found with hero blood inside him, and that person must be given a V-Watch’.”

I slammed the book closed. “Well, it looks like we have to find a new hero. Great…” Silvia sighed angrily. “Y’know, we could already be saving the world if a certain someone hadn’t destroyed my V-Watch!!!”

I glared back in her direction. “Hey! Don’t blame me! You were the one misusing it!!” “I wouldn’t call using Mach Speed to clean up the house quicker ‘misuse’!!!!!!” she shot back.

A large explosion sounded off to our right. We looked toward the wall. A large, billboard-sized hole stood smoking, and a large, shadowy figure stood before us. He grinned, showing many rows of large, sharp, dazzling white teeth.

“Ahh…the studio of the once-legendary Captain Blue. Hmm…smaller than I thought it would be.” I stepped forward. “How do you know I’m Captain Blue?” The figure held up a hand, and a large, purple blast of energy slammed into me.

Joe

I jumped up and glared at the figure. “Hey! Who do you think you are, slamming Blue around like that?!” The figure turned to me. “Would you rather I aimed at you?” I stepped back, sweating nervously. “Um, never mind. Continue.” “JOE!!” Silvia yelled. “Show some backbone!”

The ghoulish figure snapped his fingers, and I was lifted off the ground. I hovered a few feet above the ground. The figure swung his finger, and wherever it was positioned was where I was put. “My name is Gaki. Rest assured, I to not plan to fight you.”

Blue got up groggily, rubbing his head. “Wow, you could’ve fooled me.” Gaki snapped his fingers and I fell on the ground. I rubbed my back and stared at him. “Why are you here? To help the Jadows?”

Gaki looked insulted. “The Jadows? Please. I could devastate one of their Harrier Jets with a blink of an eye!! No, I fight against those vile things. I know who you all are, especially you, Viewtiful Joe.”

I shivered a bit. “Okay, so why are you here? You still didn’t answer that?” Gaki held up a long, pointed finger. “Tsk, tsk, tsk, must we be so hasty? All right, if you insist.”

He snapped his fingers, and a large map appeared in front of us. He pointed to a picture of Japan, and a small red dot on it. “I heard your plan of having to find a new hero to fill Joe’s shoes. There, I found a special boy with hero blood flowing through him. That’s your new hero.”

Silvia nodded eagerly. “So, where is he?” Gaki rolled up the map. “He’s in Nagoya, Japan. A loooooooooooooooooooooooooong journey from here. I would not advise taking Six Majin, for two reasons.”

Blue nodded, glaring at Gaki. “The first one?” “Well, Jadow troops are stationed in the waters around there. Might be tough to get in.” Blue nodded once more. “And the other?” “It’ll look really conspicuous if a 12-story red robot is seeing soaring over the sky and touches down in Nagoya.”

Gaki held out his hand, and a large ball of dark energy appeared in it. Three small, black pellets appeared in his hand. “These are demon pellets. One bite, and you’ll be given flight and camouflage for 3 hours. That’s more than enough time to get there.”

Silvia sighed angrily. “You IDIOT!!! Tokyo’s 12 hours away, and that’s by TWO planes!! How fast do you think we’ll fly when we eat these, Mach 5?!” Gaki shook his head. “No, Mach 500. DEMON pellets?” Silvia blinked. “Well, okay, then.”

~~Meanwhile, in Nagoya, Japan…~~



I slumped at my desk bored out of my mind. <Yeesh…> I thought as the teacher droned on. <If he was any more boring, I’d be in a bingo hall.> I turned towards the window and looked at the clear blue sky. <What I’d give for a chance to get out of here…>

A large piece of chalk flew through the air and whacked me right in the forehead. The teacher stood up angrily. “HITOSEN RIYOUSHA!! How many times must I tell you to pay attention in class!”

I rubbed the spot where the chalk hit me and brushed the dust away. The teacher continued on with the lesson. I felt someone poke me in the back. “Slow day, huh?” I turned around to see Akisei grinning happily. I sighed. “Not for you, I suppose. I have yet to see one thing you don’t like.”

A large bell sounded off, and the students got up and ran off. Akisei jumped up and grabbed my arm. “C’mon, Hito! Let’s head to the cafeteria while there’re still seats left!”

A large crash erupted in the classroom, and we stopped dead in our tracks. A large creature jumped into the room. It was a large, red-skinned lion with flames blowing out of its head. It had a large, bronze shield strapped to its right hand, and a loincloth on the bottom part of its body. It had hands to size of our desks and claws as big as erasers. He had piercing red eyes, and bulging muscles. Right now, he looked very irritated.

“This is the last time I let Alastor fly a comet!! He’s got the motor skills of a drunken alligator!!!” The lion turned to me, and smiled evilly. “Well, well, well…If it isn’t Hitosen Riyousha.” I heard Akisei gasp and she squeezed my arm. “Who are you?” I said. “And how do you know my name?”

The lion chuckled. “That’s for me to know, and for you to die trying to find out!!! Flare Claw!!” the lion’s claw burst into flames, and he rushed towards me.

A small figure crashed through one of the windows and slammed into the lion. It got up and brushed himself off. “Well, that’s not how I planned to make my entrance, but it worked!!”

I gaped openmouthed at the scene. “WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!?!?!”